CHAPTER 16-Buyers Remorse, Sellers Remorse

Just about twenty minutes after you ink your first offer you will begin to experience Buyer’s remorse. Here are just some of the questions that are going to come up for you:

1. Did I look at enough houses in the market to know what I am doing?
2. Is this really the right house for us?
3. Is it really in the Richland Success School District?
4. What is the commute going to be like?
5. What kind of neighbors do we have?
6. What will my family think?
7. Am I paying too much?
8. Will they sell it to someone else?
9. Will my offer get accepted?
10. Can we really afford this?

First, know this is perfectly normal. This is the largest transaction in your life so far. If you aren’t a little nervous then you aren’t normal. Remember you must work your way through this to get to your goal.

So you go into the work the next day and see your best friend there.
You, “Hey, I just bought a home!”
Friend, “No way! That is so cool. Interest rates are the lowest in 50 years, prices have dropped thirty percent and I bet you got a good one.”
You, “It is almost perfect. It has everything we had on our list.”
Friend, “You are a genius. I wish I could buy a place.”

Then you walk down the hall and run into your second best friend,
You, “Hey, I just bought a home!”
Friend, “No way! That is so stupid. Interest rates are going to drop to 2% next year, prices are still going down and if you had waited, you could have gotten a better place.
You, “It is almost perfect. It has everything we had on our list.”
Friend, “You are an idiot. I wouldn’t buy now if I were you. In fact I am going to sell mine so I can buy cheaper next year.”

Welcome to the ROLLER COASTER of real estate purchase emotions!

Now if that wasn’t bad enough – you decide to go to a family party. Everyone already knows what you are doing, and everyone has an opinion about it not very different from what your friends at work did.

Here is how to handle all the questions they are going to ask:
“So how much did you pay?” You, “We got a good deal, right in the range we wanted.”
“What is your interest rate?” You, “Its affordable.”
“What kind of concessions did you ask for?” You, “Just the right amount, they accepted.”

Not too hard to see that all the answers I recommended are vague. But, if you stay in control you won’t get AS hammered by these kinds of comments:
1. “You paid HOW MUCH?! I could have bought that same house for $16,500.” (Of course, that was in 1976.)
2. “You got an interest rate OF WHAT?! You should have talked to Cousin Frank. He could have gotten you a much lower rate.”
3. “I can’t believe you used a Realtor outside the family! Aunt Sylvia does all of the family transactions.” (Aunt Sylvia did one two years ago, and one four years ago, and one seven years ago.)

The best thing to do is just to finish up, close escrow, move in and theninvite them to your housewarming party.

So know this. You will experience a huge range of emotions driven by family and friends. They are driven by jealousy, loyalty, anger, joy, fatigue, enabling, support, old information, mis-information, and confusion. Don’t fall into the emotional traps that they lay down in your path to a successful purchase.

And you should know that the Seller is having second thoughts also. Did we sell too low, is the Buyer going to qualify, will we close escrow on time, will the house appraise, will the inspection turn up too much stuff and kill the deal. Given an opportunity, be kind to them. They may be much more emotional about leaving a home that they have lived in for so long with all the memories they made there.


<< Chapter 15  Chapter 17 >>

| To the top |

About the author

Robert N. “Bob” Bekins is the Owner/Broker of North County Realty Associates headquartered in San Diego County, California. He has been a Sales Manager with major national home building companies, in international property sales, and in traditional resale. With over 1,000 homes transacted he is qualified to be a fine advocate for your needs in that part of California. You may reach him by texting or calling 760-505-9397 or at Hope you have enjoyed the book and now Happy Hunting and may you live long and prosper in your new home!